| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|06:56 am] |
I feel little bit depressed.
I've been taking my medications for a week now.
So,
that might be causing my depression and anxiety.
I met a guy about a week ago.
At first he felt so good,
and I thought he might be the one,
but something happened.
I don't know what.
But I just realized that it was not going to work out.
I hope he can still be my friend.
Because even though our relationship didn't work,
he's a good guy.
I'm just so fucking tired of being alone.
I want to have someone to call my love. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2006|12:59 pm] |
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.......................................................................... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2006|01:21 pm] |
I have so many new friends!
They are all men, but does it matter.
I didn't go to school today..
I slept too late, didn't hear the alarm.
I feel like doing something,
just don't know what... |
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| ... |
[Sep. 1st, 2006|08:39 am] |
My friend came yesterday at 11.00 am.
And left at 08.30 pm.
She stayed here all day and that was great !
I think we had fun.
At least I did!:)
I send a message to my teacher yesterday,
she promised to help me with my studies.
Cats are starting to go crazy:)
Or maybe they are just playing.
And having fun.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do today.
Some people would like to see me.
Hmm.. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 31st, 2006|08:01 am] |
I'm not going to school today...
I just don't feel like it.
Even though I should be there.
Well, I will go next week,
I promise that to myself.
My friend didn't come yesterday,
she's coming today.
I wrote yesterday about my new cat Laku.
Now he and Lucifer are like best friends.
I think it was a good idea to take Laku,
'cos now those two can play together.
I feel little bit lonely.
I miss someone.
I don't know who.
I wanna fall in love.
I wanna find a man.
Sometimes it just feels,
like there's nobody for me.
Or maybe I just don't find him.
But, I'm not losing hope.
He will come on my way,
who ever he is. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 30th, 2006|02:33 pm] |
I have a new cat, his name is Laku.
Now Lucifer has a friend.
He is black and so handsome boy.
I love my cats.
Hope, they will not fight very much..
I want them to be friends.
My friend is coming to see Laku today.
That's great!
I love to see her!
Today I would really need to go to school,
but I'm not sure do I dare to leave those cats alone..
I wanna be here,
if fighting gets too rough. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 30th, 2006|06:35 am] |
I'm not doing so well.
I feel tired all the time,
and school feels shitty.
Because,
I feel, like I don't have any reason to do anything.
So lonely.
I need someone by my side.
I'm tired of being alone.
Ï miss the feeling that I get,
when somebody hugs me,
or kisses me.
The feeling, that somebody cares.
I need love.
Lots of love.
Thank God,
today is a short day at school.
After that,
I'm going to see my friend.
I like seen her,
we have lots of fun together.
Well...
Gotta go.. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 25th, 2006|05:55 pm] |
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I'm high. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 22nd, 2006|06:30 am] |
So, weekend is over..
I had so much fun.
Yesterday I was at school,
I felt better,
I'm not sick anymore,
even though,
I still have to take medicines for six days.
I like being at school,
so many nice people,
I can't feel alone at all.
I don't have any friends yet,
but I think that will change. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|11:20 am] |
Yesterday was a crazy day.
I drank few beers last night.
That was nothing.
It really didn't affect me.
A friend of mine came to see me.
Everything was ok,
until I decided to smoke a little pot.
And there I went.
I was very high, very fast.
But nicely.
My friend left,
and another came.
I was high all evening.
Today I got to take it easy. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|08:38 am] |
So,
I don't have a boyfriend anymore.
I'm not sad about it.
Maybe it was a relief.
I'm not so anxious anymore.
I don't have to think,
where he is,
what he is doing,
who with he is.
Is he cheating on me ?
At first it felt good relationship.
But then I got stressed.
I couldn't trust him anymore.
He acted like he had something else going on
at the same time,
with someone else.
I cried and I was sad.
Now I don't feel a thing.
I can focus on my studies.
Nobody believes it,
but it's better this way.
Relationship should be something else,
than being sad and suffer and stress. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|06:57 am] |
I met him at saturday too.
It was very nice.
I have a new friend and that's great.
I think I'm single again.
I'm not sure.
I haven't heard anything from honey
at least a week.
Well..
I don't care.
How ever this goes,
I'm so strong,
that he can't hurt me.
Nobody can.
Today is my last day at work.
Tomorrow school starts. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 12th, 2006|02:03 pm] |
The guy I met few days ago,
came at my place yesterday.
We talked,
had few ciders.
Lots of fun.
He's still here,
but I guess he's leaving soon.
I know for sure,
that we will meet again.
I should go take a shower,
then go to the market and buy two ciders for tonight.
School starts at tuesday.
I'm really excited. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 9th, 2006|07:20 am] |
Good f***ing morning.
I slept too late.
I was supposed to get up at 5.30 am.
I didn't hear the alarm, so I woke up at 7.00 am.
Now I won't catch the 7.30 bus,
it means I'm going to be late at work.
I met someone yesterday.
A really nice guy,
I promised to see him today.
I'm anxious.
Even though I should not be.
He asked me, and I said yes.
He wants to see me,
so why am I nervous.
And we are going out just as friends.
Can't write anymore,
I need to go to shower.
I have to catch the next bus. |
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| ... |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|04:11 pm] |
I feel exhausted.
I spent the weekend at my parents house.
That was nice.
I was there,
'cos I could not be alone.
If I would have stayed at home alone,
I would probably just got more depressed and anxious.
Tomorrow starts a new week,
I have to be at work early.
At thursday I have an appointment at doctor.
I need to get some more medicines.
Tonight I try to relax and sleep well. |
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| ... |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|08:57 pm] |
I felt very happy,
when I got up this morning.
My honey was lying next to me.
I felt like I am the happiest person in this world.
What have I done,
to deserve this kind of happiness.
I wish he could come to me tonight.
I miss him already.
I have felt myself little tired today.
But I didn't let myself to stay in bed all day.
I took a shower and went to the market.
Bought pasta etc. Made food when I got back home.
And just a while ago I went to the market again.
Bought three bottles of beer and some ice cream.
Now I just spent my time surfing.
Until I start feeling tired again.. |
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| ... |
[Jul. 23rd, 2006|02:51 pm] |
Yesterday was a good day.
I was shopping with mum.
I got so much new clothes! Nice.
Today I will see my darling.
He was supposed to come last night,
but he could not come.
That was sad.
But today he will come and I am so happy.
I feel very sleepy all the time.
Last night I slept like nine hours.
I woke up at seven.
Drank my coffee and went back to bed.. to sleep.
Then woke up at 1.00 pm.
Maybe I should make some coffee.
It might cheer me up. |
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| ... |
[Jul. 21st, 2006|10:21 pm] |
I haven't written in a long time.
Writing has felt so hard.. I don't know why.
I've been depressed.
Everything feels so shitty sometimes.
I'm fighting with myself.
Life can be difficult if you hate yourself as much as I hate myself.
It still feels, like there is too much of me.
I can't eat, or if I do, I have to throw up.
Then I can feel good about myself (sick!),
but at the same time, I feel weak.
I thank God,
that I have my darling by my side.
I can trust him,
he's the one,
who is always there.
I love him more than anything. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2006|05:57 am] |
I don't feel anything.
It's so weird.
I don't care what someone says,
or what happens,
it's just.. "I don't care..".
I believe this is all about my medication.
It's the same kind of feeling,
that I had three years ago.
When I don't feel a thing. |
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| Friday.. |
[Jun. 9th, 2006|06:00 pm] |
Thank god, weekend is coming.
Two free days. I can do whatever I want.
I'm going to rest.
Sooo tired. |
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